Thursday, June 18, 2009

That Really Grinds My Gears...Fake Twitter Users

So these past few months I've been seeing a good # of friends join Twitter. However, are they signing on just for the hell of it? Why are they joining? Word of mouth? Heard it on the news?

Either way, if you're going to sign up for Twitter then I suggest you use it. Need advice? Gawker has some great suggestions of what NOT to do:

  • Don't say anything that might just as well be said in an email, i.e. "I'm sorry Steve, it's going to have to be $37."
  • Don't forget how many people are listening. For example, do not say: "Oops, hope nobody notices the smell."
  • Don't follow people you've never met. Exception: Diablo Cody.
  • Don't follow Jason Calacanis.
  • Don't add too many followers too fast. Like any dangerous recreational narcotic, one has to build one's tolerance before ignoring the Surgeon General's warnings.
  • Don't expect timely and informative responses to your Twittered queries. Or for anyone to read them. Twitter is a heat sink for the unexpressed ego.
  • Don't Twitter things that would be better said in person. Example: "@George, No, I won't marry you. It's the halitosis."
  • Don't try to share your political, religious or business views in 140 characters. It takes more words to obfuscate how simple and derivative they are.
  • Don't follow Robert Scoble.
  • Don't follow bloggers who write about Twitter just to have an excuse to include a link to their Twitter account. They will bombard you with links to their blog posts, because they are paid by pageviews.

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